Once More, with Old Ones
A Dark is Rising musical spectacular, by Eildon Rhymer
(with apologies to Joss Whedon and Susan Cooper.)
___
1. Oldest of the Old
The scene is a bleak and misty landscape, that could be
any time, any season, any where. MERRIMAN wanders alone, wearing clothes that
could belong in any century. As he walks, he sings:
MERRIMAN: Through
the endless years of hope and sorrow,
Staunchly
I uphold the Light.
Centuries
of men have passed before me,
As
I fight the Dark,
As
I fight for Right.
I
have lived alone, without true home,
For
no-one mortal knows,
That
I'm oldest of the Old Ones,
Wisest
of the wise.
No-one
ever penetrates my… guise.
So wrapped up is MERRIMAN in his song that he fails to
notice that some MORTALS, clad in the clothes of many different centuries, have
wandered in and are overhearing him. Or maybe MERRIMAN wants them to hear, and
this whole singing thing is a Cry For Help. Who knows?
MERRIMAN: I was
once a seer, and kind of mystic,
Spouting
riddles everywhere.
Once
I had a beard, a long and white one,
And
a pointy hat.
MORTALS: And
a witch's cat?
MERRIMAN: What's
the point of that?
MORTALS: We
just heard him sing a wondrous thing,
So
now all mortals know,
He's
the oldest of the Old Ones,
Wisest
of the wise,
Call
the papers! Oh? Alarm! Surprise!
The reason for this exclamation soon becomes apparent.
While the MORTALS have been singing, MERRIMAN has raised his hand, spread his
fingers, and mouthed a single word. The MORTALS wander off, looking confused,
wondering why they are on this hillside when they just popped round the corner
for a loaf of bread.
MERRIMAN: I must
stay this way forever,
Always
wandering, resting never.
What's
my name this year? Whatever.
And
I'll always be,
Oldest
of the Old Ones,
Wisest
of the wise,
That
is how it was.
That
is how it is.
That
is how it always will be.
2. How exciting!
The scene changes to Cornwall. It is a sunny day.
Three children cavort around a tall man with white hair. The children are
SIMON, JANE and BARNEY. The man is MERRIMAN, but he is a far cuddlier Merriman
than seen in song one.
SIMON: Oh,
how exciting!
We're
here in Cornwall,
Where
the natives speak
In
quaint and funny accents.
JANE: Oh,
how exciting!
A
secret message!
It's
like we've landed in
A
book by Enid Blyton.
BARNEY: Oh,
how exciting! Someone's lost a Grail.
And
I will find it,
I'm
soon eight,
And
so I cannot fail.
SIMON: It
could be smugglers,
Or
wicked forgers,
Because
in children's books
Like
this it's always smugglers,
and
the children vanquish them,
and
no-one dies, and - woo! - this is such fun!
MERRIMAN: It's
not exciting.
The
Dark is Rising...
JANE: It's
so exciting...
Clouds suddenly pass over the sun. MERRIMAN throws off
his cuddly great-uncle coat to reveal flowing Robes underneath. He flings his
arms wide in a true wizardly pose and, to an accompaniment of dramatic lighting
effects and show-off camera work, he sings:
MERRIMAN: The
Dark's not a children's game, the Dark's not exciting.
Wait
until the second book for truly chilling writing.
And
why am I called "Merry"?
An
Old One like me needs more dignity.
Dark,
Dark,
The
Dark is Rising!
BARNEY: ...or
maybe burglars?
CHILDREN: It's
so exciting,
We
should solve it fast.
Because
we're back at school soon,
And
the hols they never last.
Oh,
how exciting....
The scene of the CHILDREN and MERRIMAN freezes. The
camera pans back to show an ASSEMBLY OF EVIL-DOERS, who are Rising in the hills
and moors and valleys all around. The very observant among the audience (or
those who have read it pointed out on fan forums) will notice that the Rider is
not present. As they Rise, the ASSEMBLY OF EVIL-DOERS interrupt the poor
CHILDREN and steal and sabotage their song.
ASSEMBLY OF EVIL-DOERS:
...The Dark is
Rising!
We'll
fill the world with fire and fury.
The
Dark will triumph with great glory.
Apocalypse
-
Won't
that be nice!
Traps
and whips -
How
they entice!
Mankind
will grovel down before us,
And
all will join in with our chorus.
We
have to win,
We
have to fight,
We
have to sin,
To
crush the Light.
We'll
fill the world with fire and fury,
The
Dark will triumph with great glory.
The
Dark is Rising!
And
no-one can defeat us...
VERY SMALL AND NEW EVIL-DOER, sotto voce:
Except the Old Ones.
3. At the dry cleaner's
A young woman is standing behind the counter, with
that smile that they teach you on Customer Care courses, in the "how to
deal with awkward customers" module. Said awkward customer is the RIDER,
thus explaining his absence in the preceding song. He is holding up a robe that
was once black, but has now been cleaned to a lovely rose colour.
RIDER (furious): You
got the black dye out!
THE QUEUE (impressed): They
got the black dye out!
4. Under your spell
HAWKIN is staring sadly out of a window, onto a world
far removed from the world of his birth.
HAWKIN: I
once was just a peasant,
Tilling
my crops, without you.
It
did not seem unpleasant,
It
was all that I knew.
But
you raised your hand,
Beckoning
me from the land.
I'm
under your spell,
Whisked
away in time,
Far
away from what was mine.
I
love my lord so well,
Clad
in Light sublime,
And
me in my green coat so fine.
I've
seen a world enchanted,
Standing
there at your side.
I
saw things out of stories,
Things
that no mortal yet spied.
But
you stood so near,
Told
me not to feel fear.
I'm
under your spell,
Snatched
across the years,
Laughing,
yes, but shedding tears.
You
love me, lord, so well,
That
you dragged me here,
Risked
my life, despite my fear.
You
made me afraid.
In the background, MAGGIE BARNES starts to dance,
slowly, slowly edging towards HAWKIN in a seductive fashion. HAWKIN at first
shrinks from her, but gradually he begins to sway in the rhythm of her dance.
By the time the song ends, they are fully dancing together, though MAGGIE is
leading.
HAWKIN: Light
conquers Dark,
But
you have broken my heart.
I'm
under your spell,
How
else could it be,
That
you'd dare do this to me?
I
loved you, lord, so well,
But
you loved not me,
But
you broke and shattered me.
There is a flash of darkness. When it clears, HAWKIN
has been transformed into the WALKER. The WALKER shuffles across a bleak
landscape that resembles the landscape MERRIMAN was crossing in the first song.
It cannot really be called singing, what he does, but muttering.
WALKER: You
made me this way.
You
made me this way.
You
made me this way.
MERRIMAN watches sadly, but does not show himself.
5. I'll never tell
WILL is zipping up his seventies-style coat against
the winter chill. As MERRIMAN waits for him to force the zip past the fake fur,
he starts to sing:
MERRIMAN: This
is the boy I was destined to mentor,
Isn't
he fine?
Just
yesterday he was dreaming of Santa,
Now
he is mine.
I'll
teach him how to be,
An
Old One there alongside me.
The
only trouble is...
I'll
never tell.
WILL: This
is the man who told me I am
An
Old One like him.
(Though
not so old, or so wise,
Or
so hairy, tall, or so thin.)
I'll
never let him down,
I'll
never give him cause to frown.
There's
just one thing that...
No.
I'll never tell.
BOTH: 'Cause
there's nothing to tell.
MERRIMAN: He's
young..
WILL: He's
cryptic,
His
orders are elliptic,
And
once he was a mystic
In
his Merlin phase
He's
old…
MERRIMAN: He's
tiny,
He's
sometimes rather whiny,
He's
not much more than nine,
He's
in his green-stick days.
WILL: This
thing gets rather scary.
And
it's taken me unwary,
For
I once was ordinary,
Like
James and Paul and Mary,
But
it's all very well,
'Cause,
Light knows, I'll never tell.
WILL: When
things get scary,
He
goes! He isn't there! He -
Leaves!
It isn't fair! He -
Ought
to help me, you know.
MERRIMAN: He
clings,
He
worries,
And
goes off in a hurry,
He
never...
WILL: He
eats strong curry!
MERRIMAN: It is
chili, you know.
He...
WILL: Look
at me, Merriman! I'm dancing!
WILL starts dancing up and down the room, very
rhythmic and showy. MERRIMAN frowns, before joining in, but his dance is a
traditional folk dance. It is clear that he strongly disapproves of "those
new-fangled dances them young Old Ones are doing nowadays."
WILL: You
know, you are my master,
Though
I dance faster.
MERRIMAN: You're
the littlest immortal,
Though
your dancing makes me chortle,
And
your body is so....
Young
and... er... young.
MERRIMAN: He's
old…
WILL: He's
older.
He's
wiser and he's bolder.
MERRIMAN: That's
why I'll never own up
That
our fate's in his hands.
The
end's uncertain,
Before
the final curtain,
Darkness
could be surging
Over
all of the land.
I
lied,
I
said it's easy,
I've
tried
But
there's there fears I can't quell.
Will
he falter when he must be strong?
WILL: Will
I let him down and lose my song?
Will
I fail to do what's needed,
By
youth and fear impeded?
MERRIMAN: Will I
fail him like with Hawkin,
Who's
trapped in endless walking?
BOTH: Am I
dreaming?
Am
I waking?
Am
I hoping?
Am
I faking?
WILL (quietly):
Before the end you're taking
All
my friends as well.
WILL (louder):
But, Master, I'll never tell.
MERRIMAN: I
swear that I'll never tell.
My
lips are sealed.
WILL: But
you hear my thoughts,
You
know it all.
You
know me well.
You
know me
Well.
6. Bad Day
The RIDER (now in black robes, but only his second-best
ones) is being chased by HERNE THE HUNTER
RIDER: I've
been having a bad, bad day
Oh,
hunter, put that sword away.
I'm
asking you, please no,
It
isn't right, it isn't fair,
There
is no Darkness anywhere,
They've
scattered holly everywhere,
And
Christmas lights with all their glare…
And
someone dyed my underwear.
7. He waits
We see a beautiful island set in a silver sea. A
noble-looking man with a beard sits on the shore. He is attended by chaste and
beautiful maidens, but he pays them no heed. This is Avalon, and he is ARTHUR.
ARTHUR: I
died
So
many years ago,
Or
I would have died then,
If
the Light had let me go.
So
now I'm here in Avalon,
Wondering
how you grow.
Oh!
Oh!
I'm
scared,
Fearing
that you pine.
Did
you know your mother's touch?
Do
you know you're mine?
Am
I just a tale to you,
My
child born out of time?
They
say,
I
have a part to play,
Fighting
in the cause of Light,
To
save another day.
I'd
rather spend one hour with you,
The
future come what may.
Let
me see my son.
Let
me see my son,
Let
me take his hand.
I'd
rather have his love than rule
The
whole of this fair land.
So
I endure in paradise,
Until
the time has come,
For
me to see my son.
They
say,
I
was brave and bold,
Standing
'gainst dark minions,
The
strongest lord of old.
But
when I fear I've lost you,
Oh,
then my blood runs cold.
Let
me see my son.
I
know I should go,
I
should let you live a happy life,
Should
let you thrive and take a wife,
And
live in comfort, free from strife,
Though
it strikes me harsh as any knife.
Let
you go, and live your life…
Oh,
no! I can't, my son!
Let me see my son,
Let
me take his hand.
I'd
rather have his love than rule
The
whole of this fair land.
So
I endure in paradise,
Until
the time has come,
For
me to see my son.
Why
won't you
Let
me see my son?
8. Alone, with a secret
Floating slowly under the ocean, we see the GREENWITCH.
Watched only by us, the unseen audience, she opens her leafy mouth and sings:
GREENWITCH: Does anybody even notice?
Does
anybody even care?
9. Temptation, with dancing
(The pedantic might observe that this scene does
not appear in the books. To such accusations, the author retorts that it jolly
well ought to.)
The RIDER (whose cloak has now been dyed black again)
accosts WILL on a lonely road. WILL tries to flee, but the RIDER is on
horseback and catches him up. He dismounts, and WILL prepares to fight for his
life, but instead of attacking, the RIDER starts to sing and dance:
RIDER: Why'd
you run away?
Don't
you like my... style?
Why
don't you come and play?
I
guarantee you a great big smile.
I
come from the midnight forces,
Where
minions ride on pretty horses.
So
what do you say?
Why
don't we play a while?
I'm
a smile in the night,
I'm
the shadow of day,
I'm
the thrill of a fight,
I
am lovers at play.
You
call me - I'll come at a canter,
I
bring things like drinking and banter.
Now
you're tempted! That's what it's all about.
'Cause
I know how you feel, boy.
I
know how you feel, boy.
WILL: You
mean, you're a good Rider? Is that what you're saying?
RIDER: The
Dark is Rising. Is that so wrong?
We've
been underdogs for far too long.
Join
with us, you'll never be lonely -
Won't
stay behind, the one and the only.
There'll
be others there, joining you in song.
Come
to the Dark, my dearest boy -
Oh,
sweetheart, do not wince!
When
I am lord of all of the world,
You
can be my prince.
'Cause
I know how you feel, boy.
WILL: No,
you see, you and me,
Though
I am rather flattered...
RIDER: I'll
make it real, boy.
WILL: I
am staunch with the Light -
I
thought that it mattered.
RIDER: I
wear clothes of velvet so swirly,
(But
manfully so, and not at all girly)
WILL: Well,
the cloak is quite nice,
But
I know you're a liar.
RIDER: Join
with me and say no to angsting!
Yes
to the sex - and it's me you'll be thanking.
WILL: I'm
too young for sex,
And
your rhyme's truly dire.
RIDER: Dire?
WILL: Uh-huh
RIDER: That's
it. I'm done tempting you. I'm going home.
To
think... I would have given you anything
And
now you'll be alone,
That's
what the Light's about.
10. Never be. Never free.
WILL is tossing and turning in bed. MRS STANTON and a
DOCTOR tend to him. Far away, MERRIMAN watches it sadly through a magic mirror.
MERRIMAN: You're
not ready
For
the world outside.
Just
a boy who needs
His
mother's side.
Lost
in sickness,
Secrets
locked inside.
But
I…
This
quest is crucial,
And
you stand alone.
In
a country strange,
That's
far from home.
You've
forgotten
Everything
I've shown.
But
I…
Wish
I could stand beside you,
And
take this task away.
Wish
I could play the master,
And
let you walk away.
Wish
I could stand beside you,
Until
the final day.
But
that can never be.
WILL, on his feet again but still pale and shaky, is
wandering across a mountain-side. Dark and theatrical villains are lurking
behind every rock. The audience at home is shouting, "It's behind
you!" but WILL is oblivious.
MERRIMAN: The
Dark around you
You
don't sense at all.
Blind,
you wander,
And
I fear you'll fall.
Where's
the Raven Boy,
To
reach you with his call?
But
I…
Wish
I could stand beside you,
To
guide you to the track,
Which
I could walk before you,
Your
burden on my back.
Wish
I could shield you always,
From
ruin and from rack.
But
that can never be.
For
Old Ones are not free.
11. Wish I could stay
OWEN and BRAN sit in an empty cottage, talking. We do
not hear what they are saying, but we do see a FLASHBACK, as evidenced by that
wibbly flashbacky thing. A beautiful woman is holding a baby and tearfully
singing over it:
WOMAN: I'm
under your spell.
Taken
through the years,
Weeping
cruel and bitter tears.
I
love you, son, so well,
But
I'm torn with fears,
Nothing
is as it appears.
Your
lord will believe…
Tears rob her of words. Then the scene changes and we
see the same woman writing a note in an empty cottage.
WOMAN (singing aloud the words of her note):
Believe
me,
I
don't want to go.
And
it'll grieve me
'Cause
I love you so.
But
I know…
Wish
I could say,
The
right words,
To keep you by my side.
Wish
I could watch you growing,
But
all my hopes have died.
Wish
I could stay…
Wish
I could stay…
Wish
I could stay.
12. Through the Lost Lands
WILL and BRAN are walking towards a coast that is supposed
to be Wales, but since this is TV, it probably looks a bit more like
California.
WILL: I
touch the shore and it melts from me,
Revealing
land beyond the West.
Beneath
the sea,
With
Bran alongside me,
Our
last and greatest quest.
Ahead,
the sword it waits for us,
It
calls to Bran, but not to me.
He
spoke its name,
And
everything is changed:
Oh,
who will pay the fee?
But
I will walk through the Lost Lands,
Beyond
them lies my fate.
I
will walk through the Lost Lands,
And
I will…
A horse made of bones cavorts past. BRAN cowers and
whimpers. Although overcome and unmanned with terror, he still finds time to
rhyme and sing very tunefully:
BRAN: The
sword ahead is calling me.
Will's
beside me, strong and wise,
But
childhood fears,
Have
stoppered up my ears,
And
drive me to my knees.
But
I will walk through the Lost Lands,
For
where else lies my home?
I
am lost in the Lost Lands,
And
I will…
Far away, in a world that is not lost (and yet, in a
way, is far more lost. Cryptic, eh?) SIMON, JANE and BARNEY huddle anxiously,
staring at the place where the Lost Land had so briefly shown itself. MERRIMAN
is also visible, but in a mystic "not really there" sort of way -
i.e. a misty face on the clouds, or something, so he can join in this verse,
without us having to build an extra set.
JANE: What
if Will is gone forever?
BARNEY: Or
Merry says that we will never
See
this thing right through until the end?
SIMON: What
if we are lost, in danger?
BARNEY: Caught
by magic of a stranger?
Far
away from family and friends.
MERRIMAN: We'll
see it through
That's
what the Light is here to do,
And
you will watch for the Lost Lands…
Back to WILL, who seems to have had some sort of
prophetic vision, doubtless brought on by hallucinogenic hazelnuts:
WILL: And
one by one, they'll turn from me.
If
we triumph, I'm still lost.
I'll
do it all,
I
always will stand tall…
But,
oh, at what great cost!
BRAN does not hear WILL's angsty little aside. He is waving
a shiny sword around, as overjoyed as a little boy on Christmas day.
BRAN: Eirias
the sword I'm wielding,
Womb
and blaze and queen and shielding,
Tombs
of hopes - the hopes, that is, of Dark.
Neath
this sword, the Dark will tumble!
Come
on, Dark! Let's have a rumble!
Light!
Come on! A furnace from a spark.
These
endless years
Are
finally ending without tears,
And
we will stride from the Lost Land,
And
go to crush the foe.
We
will stride from the Last Lands,
And
here we go!
Here we go!
Here
we go!
Here
we go!
13. So now it ends
It's all happening here on the Downs. Around a
Midsummer Tree are gathered the entire ASSEMBLY OF EVIL-DOERS, and the CIRCLE
OF OLD ONES. There is also BRAN, SIMON, JANE and BARNEY, JOHN ROWLANDS, and
many, many other extras, many of them hastily shipped in from other
productions. As we watch, BRAN brings a shiny sword down on the tree, and for
some reason this means that the ASSEMBLY OF EVIL-DOERS has been routed. Before
routing, though, they sing:
ASSEMBLY OF EVIL-DOERS:
So
here we are, it all comes crashing down.
And
so we sing, our faces in a frown.
It
would be nice if we had won this thing.
We'd
sing a glad refrain
(We
sang it on the train.)
Where's
there's Dark,
There's
fear.
Every
day's
A
curse
Wishes
can
Be
crushed.
Whistle
while
You
Rise
So
fierce
Today…
Or
so we always thought.
And
that is why we always fought.
And
now we fall.
And
now we fall.
Give
us something to gloat about.
We
need something to gloat about.
Here
we are, we thought we'd conquer all.
We
plotted long, but now all plots they fall.
Still
our foes
Don't
know why we still strive,
To
salvage shreds of pride
To
try to stay alive.
All
the pain
Life
sends.
Treachery
To
friends.
Torment
with-
Out
end.
That's
what we
Defend.
Though
that depends…
On
if you get to win.
Or
if the Light comes galloping in,
And
spoils your games,
Your
plans of pain.
There
was no doubt,
Vict'ry
was ours
Till
they cruelly stopped
Our
Rising.
So
that's it again.
We're
out of Time,
'Cause
they cruelled stopped
Our
Rising.
They
stopped the Dark from Rising.
So
give us something to gloat about!
Please
give us something…
The ASSEMBLY OF EVIL-DOERS start to dance in a very
frenzied and evil fashion. Some of them dance so wildly that they get sucked
out of Time forever. Some of them dance less well, and get tapped on the
shoulder by the LADY or MERRIMAN, and sent out of Time. At length, only the
RIDER remains.
RIDER: Light
isn't good,
Light
isn't bliss,
Light
is just this:
They're
cheaters.
They
spoil all our fun,
They
call us rude names,
And
ruin our games,
With
cheating.
The
Light has won by cheating.
But
we will go on…
MERRIMAN rolls his eyes and banishes the RIDER out of
Time forever.
14. My work here is done
Everyone says "woo-hoo!" and other similar
expressions of joy. MERRIMAN starts to sing. The fact that he uses the same
tune that the Rider used in his temptation scene is, perhaps, significant, and
possibly has sinister implications, but we won't go there.
MERRIMAN: What a
lot of fun!
Everyone
did really well.
Now
the Dark has gone,
So
the Light will go as well.
All
those deeds
That
you played a part in.
All
will forgotten be,
When
I'm departing.
Now
I've got to dash -
My
work here is done.
15. Where do we go from here?
Everyone remaining gathers around the Midsummer Tree
and sings:
ALL: Where
do we go from here?
Where
do we go from here?
ARTHUR: The
battle's won
Will
you come, my son?
BRAN: No, I'm
staying here.
ALL: Where
do we go from here?
MERRIMAN raises his hand and speaks a spell. SIMON,
JANE, BARNEY and BRAN pause mid-dance, and bring their hands to their brow in
an expressive mime of confusion:
SIMON, JANE, BARNEY and BRAN:
Why
is the past unclear?
How
did we end up here?
The
past's forgot,
But
the future's not,
And
we'll grow and thrive from here.
Where
can't we go from here?
As they were singing, MERRIMAN and the other OLD ONES
start to drift away, melting into the skies and the sunrise in a mystic and
poetic fashion. WILL watches them go.
WILL: Where
do I go from here?
Everyone's
disappeared.
The
Light has won,
But
my Master's gone,
And
my friends don't know I'm near.
Tell
me,
Where
do I go from here?
The screen fades to grey, and this is the end of
canon. However…
16. The Fanfic Epilogue
A man is walking through a landscape reminiscent of
the landscape we saw Merriman in at the start. For a moment, he seems as if he
is going to sing an echo of Merriman's opening song, but then the background
music changes. We see that this man is WILL, grown-up. (We recognise him by
some trick of his walk.) A figures come to meet WILL, and slowly to landscape
changes from its bleak blank canvas, and becomes a real place, full of warmth
and light and the possibility of love.
WILL: I
saw the Dark and it frightened me.
FIGURE: I
lost…
WILL: I
stood up to it…
FIGURE: My
memory years ago…
WILL: With
the Light.
FIGURE: You
can't be real,
So
why d'you make me feel…?
They move together, as if to kiss, but the camera is
coy and teasing and does not show us if they do. It also does not reveal who this
figure is, in order to avoid angry letters from people who are staunch fans of
any particular pairing. You all get your happy ending, okay?
BOTH: Where do we
go from here?
AUDIENCE: The
bedroom?
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